#001

In a recent YouTube video I posted this past week, I talked about the books that have been a source of inspiration for my latest album over the past four months. As I was going through what each book meant to me, I noticed a recurring theme that initiated a realization I wished I'd known sooner, before my creative journey became overshadowed by external pressures.

Reading showed me that the process of completing your art should be transformative. It needs to be a deeply personal journey that remains true to your vision, even if it's not immediately clear to you. I'll find myself reflecting on my experience around releasing my first album CONTRA. I kept thinking back to it because the joy of creation was overshadowed by external expectations and pressures. I began to forget why I made that record in the first place.

I found myself losing sight of the themes that initially fueled my work—things like finding purpose and existential exploration. I felt the rollout of my album became more about identity politics than the lyrical intention I had poured my heart into. I became discouraged by the subtle yet pervasive biases I encountered that made me recognize that no amount of success would matter if I didn't assimilate to my environment. Despite any achievements, I had to confront the sobering reality that true acceptance seemed out of reach within a system that wasn't designed to accommodate people like me.

As I began reading a lot more books for my second album, I was starting to realize I finally had the words to describe what was bothering me so much. My experience was not an isolated incident. The system we currently live in was working exactly as it should, and I obviously wasn't able to handle being around it.

While most people would never agree with my approach, I was able to find a way out of my situation and provide myself the space I needed to write my second album. I decided to reclaim my creative autonomy. I decided to create music that resonated with me on a deeper level, free from the constraints of external expectations. I embraced isolation as a way to reconnect with my emotions and allow them to guide my creative process. I felt myself returning to what brought me so much joy about creating in the first place. I was finally in a place where I could allow my art to be a path to transformation.

I think it's very hard to make sense of where the world is at right now. It doesn't seem like any good is being protected...The only thing I can be sure of is that happiness needs to be fought for. I have to actively choose joy everyday and nurture whatever brings me closer to it. My music is not just a product but a reflection of myself in the current moment. It doesn't need to be any more than that.

Sometimes I still hold onto feelings of deep resentment and frustration, but this new album became a promise to myself. I committed to preserving my artistic vision and any transformation of the self that is necessary to see it through.